Doped up

December 17, 2012

I go to the doctor twice a year not because I “need” to but just to get my medicine refilled. I have noticed the past few times I’ve been to this new “doctor” which is really just his PA he asks about my medicine and if it helps. I always say I notice if I don’t take it and he is like “so it must be working?”

The answer is no. I feel the affects of the drugs. I mean I was diagnosed at 13 and have been taking the same medicines for virtually the whole time with the exclusion of Keppra that I have been on less than two years. So naturally your body gets accustomed to having it. Do I think the medicine helps? Absolutely not.

When I was a kid and first diagnosed, we took my medicine down really low and I didn’t do well. My muscles basically would lock up. That was many years ago.

So my point is I don’t think medicine will ever help or make my symptoms go away. Doctors just meet their sales quota and we ‘feel’ okay but its not really helping the condition. While I don’t take a lot mg wise my body has gotten accustomed to it and I will wake up if its been so long since I have taken it.

I take all three of these three or four times a day depending on how I “feel” .5mg clonazapham, 20 mg baclophin, and 750 mg of keppra. The medicines were likely misspelled.

So, yeah. The whole medicial industry is based on take this or do this and if it doesn’t work we will up the dose. The last time I went months ago I was like look, I know the liklihood of my dystonia going away is slim to none so I don’t want to keep increasing the doseage. Didn’t like that.

In my opionion specialists want to get published for making your life better and really thats all they want. So if your willing, they will pump you full of drugs and have surgeries. For me, I am tired of that. I am able to sustain how I am currently. As far as the future, who knows really. We will see I guess.

Thirty Days

March 11, 2012

I watch NetFlix from time to time and have watched a few episodes of the show “30 Days”. It puts people in situations they aren’t accustomed to for 30 days. Last night I watched 30 days in a wheelchair.

You can find it on Netflix or it broken up into pieces on YouTube.

I have found all the episodes that I have watched to be real and I really enjoyed this one.

You can read more about this here:


Jack on the River

August 18, 2010

I’ve found that one can make a lot of life analogies from poker (patience, not judging the other players and many others) and I think that people are often the result of their own stereotypes.

Recently I played in a free poker tournament near where I live. It was a Thursday and I didn’t have anything to do so I thought I’d try it out. When I got there, the first tournament was finishing up and I noticed that many of the players weren’t talking – they were signing.

I know I thought to myself  “Oh man, I’m going to have to deal with this?” As I think about it I think that is what people think about me when they play against me the first few times.

When the second tournament started the guy running it said there are a large number of deaf players and they’ll be signing call, bet, check or raise. I think being deaf and a poker player may be a benefit because you wouldn’t have to deal with other peoples mouths and would be able to focus more on their gestures.

I’ll likely go back. I found that the people there were friendly – maybe because I was one of them – disabled. Although I have never played with a large number of disabled players I think we [those with disabilities] want to go out of our way to help. While I do need help dealing I don’t need as much help as one might think.

Ultimately I realized that I am judgmental for no good reason except that I have never played with that community before. I think it could be an opportunity to meet others in similar circumstances as me. I don’t know any people here in the same boat as me and I would like to. Next time will be different .

When I started watching poker on TV and I saw Phil Hellmuth I thought he was a bad loser because the way he acts when he gets beat.  I know realize that he is just passionate about the game. He is an 11 time WSOP champion so I would assume he would expect others to play well and when they don’t he ‘blows up.’

I recently learned that he has a sister who participates in Special Olympics and he is a huge supporter of her. In October there is a fundraiser in San Antonio hosted by Eva Longoria and  Tony Parker to benefit those with disabilities. Phil is the mc for the event.

I respect Phil more now that I know there is more behind his ‘Poker Brat’ persona. Hopefully I will be able to play in the fundraiser. Not only will Phil be there but there will also be celebrities and poker pros.

The following are a few of his tweets:

Heading to Lincoln, Nebraska to give serious support to my sister Ann in “Special Olympics National Games.” She swimming everyday, go Ann!

Hello “Special Olympics,” hello Lincoln, Nebraska! Sister Ann won SO gold (Nationals) in Medley relay today, go Ann, go Ann! Tomorrow 100 IM

Pic of Ann with Special Olympics Nationals Gold Medal she won yesterday…Ann just won gold in 4 x 100 free relay!

– Its good to know that there is more behind Phil.